'if lesbians use dildos why don't they just have sex with a man?'
'if straight men like fucking women in the ass why don't they just fuck men?'
Finally, a brilliant response to a dumb question.
how do boys actually dry their ducks after they shower like
do you just grab it in the towel and roll it between your hands like a dough snake
or do you swing it around to air dry
I need to know
I feel like this was all one big misunderstanding but idk that’s a cute duck
- princess tiana: raises money on her own and starts her own business as a black woman in the fucking 20s
- princess anna: kinda saves her sister after getting played off as the silly quirky girl the entire movie
- everyone: WHOA!!!! WHAT A FEMINIST!!!!! HOLY SHIT THE ONLY DISNEY PRINCESS TO EVER HAVE GIRL POWER!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!! HOLY SHI
"What if women had minstrel cycles instead of menstrual cycles? You’d just have a guy with a lute follow you around for a week every month and play you songs constantly?"
My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)
#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)
I’m putting my cat on a vegan diet.
"how could you do that! that’s animal abuse"
No it’s not. a vegan-only diet is actually very healthy for them.
"cats are carnivores. they need to eat meat"
I know. that’s why it’s a vegan-only diet. I feed them only the finest vegans I can find.
I was about to go off on you